the problem is i like to hold on things like a hoarder, including my thoughts and feelings.
like how i still can't delete H's and C's phone numbers even though it's been years since their passing...

as of now i'm feeling ridiculously melancholic right now. i want a conversation partner, not just a friend. some loaner ears for my endless rambling with just a bit a judgement cus we all know i'm nuts.

also, i need to sleep with someone while i still possess a libido.

----

how does one miss someone who was never there.

i shouldn't feel sad to lose someone who was never mine to begin with, even if they were just a friend really..

i should be happy to let go of baggage, and i shouldn't have any regrets cus i have enough other friends who still love me for who i am.

still really sucks though man.