인연이란건...

i know i'm terrible at keeping in contact with people sometimes. i tend to pick and choose whom to keep talking to, and think that i have enough time to rebuild the relationship just right where we left off. but the truth is, i've missed that opportunity with some, due to their decision to end their lives, or the time in between meet up has been too long.

i value the people i know. they put up with me. they support me. they love me, to some degree. in return i should do exactly, if not more.

always pay it forward right?

i have always tried to be good, whatever that may entitle, all the while not wanting to be trapped in that "nice" girl trope. it's hilarious, really, wanting to be seen as intimidating, aloof, or just plain bitchy.. it hasn't worked, and essentially i feel as if i am still taken advantage of, left behind, boring.. undateable.

i'm not always going to get my way. things are in motion in my favor, yes. i just hope to be able to stay grounded, and gain positivity from it.

what i'm trying to say is.. i care. and i don't like burning bridges.

just.. handle me with care, yeah?