the fact that spotify does not have the beatles as a playable artist is.. absolute crap. i don't want to hear tribute band when i have a perfect compilation of the original songs on my computer. i guess this is the one time pandora and ipod wins over spotify :<

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so many of my friends have made it work, so why can't i also get that fair chance at something i've wanted for so long?

oh yeah, life's not fair.

i know i made a huge mistake sending that message on okc. i should've been less despondent; play it off cool and said i very much enjoyed the short time we shared and glad i was part of his life as he was to mine.. even if i didn't mean it exactly. in truth, i was being myself. however, in spirit of things, i really should've done the opposite. now i'm just stuck sitting here sulking over my terrible decision and absolute fear of my fuck up.

after talking to kim about the situation, i now wonder if i had reached out earlier via phone if it would've made any difference, a better closure than some disillusioned attempts through every other medium possible a month later.

we'll never know, and i resume the alcohol consumption to block it all out.