i thought i was okay. when i made the decision to send that message on wednesday, i felt free almost, as if i got something off my chest even though nothing ever happened. yes, i wear my heart on my sleeves, and my emotions are completely transparent.. but i have a tendency to keep what i really want to say inside.. until they manifest themselves into this huge word vomit and come spilling out. 

i want to ask you a lot things but i don't even know how to get it out. i have to make the decision to either let you go completely, or try to have you change your mind and stay with me. at this point in time, i am selfishly leaning heavily towards the latter even though it is the wrong thing. the smart and mature thing would be to keep up the no contact and move onto newer and better things. and mind you, there are many other guys i could be with. so.. why am i having such a hard time moving on from such a short relationship with someone who i didn't even know that well? 

i'd rather you answer me instead of giving me the silent treatment. this is more humiliating for me than you going out of your way to block me on everything.