anyways, i was feeling pretty lousy on the drive back cus i had gotten my monthly gift and i always get terrible cramps on the first two days. i somehow managed to get home around 3AM, and finally got to bed... only to be awaken around 5AM by excruciating pain. i stumbled out of the bed to fumble for some pain killers, only to choke on the water.. what did i learn? never take pills when you're half awake. this is where the weirdness happens.
once the painkillers kicked in, i started dreaming in drug induced stupor.. in which i saw all the taiko kids, alums and newbies were at an after party. i saw bunch of the newbies i don't even know the name to.. and we were all sitting around drinking, eating.. the usuals. i think all the alums starting from my first year were there.. and one point peter handed me this tiny, TINY cigarette and i started smoking. it was weird cus it was peter of all people to hand me a cig, but whatever. there was more to this but i can't recall at this time. then i realized that this tiny cigarette wasn't enough for whatever stress i was experiencing, and i realized that i had some secret stash left in my duffel bag (this here is the only thing real about the dream). i decided that i'd go to my car to get them, thinking that my duffel was in my car..... which it turned out to be wrong. after that i somehow ended up driving around a city resembling berkeley. it was snowing rather fiercely and i was waiting outside of a classroom. out walked my late-friend, and his estranged ex-friend. apparently i was going to hang out with my late-friend, but first i had tell him a really bad news. at this point, the estranged ex-friend glared at me and snapped at me saying "you can't tell him that!". so.. i didn't. instead my late-friend and i decided to go for a stroll around town. we went to a student store(?) to look at some stuff, and we were browsing at books.. there were some disney books we were looking at, then i had to track him down.. in order to tell him that.. HE had passed away... then i woke up due to the irony and shock of the dream.. apparently it was a good thing cus i had overslept.
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seriously WTF. why on earth did i have a dream where i tell my now deceased friend that a friend had passed away.. when that person was in fact standing in front of me.... i think the fact that even in my dream i knew it was ridiculous and was able to wake up from that dream scares me more than anything..
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
where exactly am i?
indulging in some sinful chocolates. stfu, i'm on my period :/
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