warning: massive PMS bitch-ranting.
word vomit.
that's how kelli described my outburst.
it sounds funny.
in the end it was my fault. i should've bitten my tongue and just hold it in.
it was rude and disrespectful and i apologize.
to kelli and the others.
duh.
not you.
cus i meant what i said.
it was just inappropriate at practice.
at this point in turn, i'm not even having wanton desires.
i admit i lost.
i'm being a sore loser.
cus really, what can i bring forth to win against her?
nothing.
nothing at all.
my claims in the past was a result of my clouded mind.
not saying the mind is crystal clear now, but still.
i don't want to go to invitational.
partly cus i don't think i'd be cool with it and not be professional or WHATEVER.
partly cus i just don't want to slave over taiko this quarter.
in the end i'll probably go anyways.
and be just stay soul suckingly depressed.
but whatever.
i just want the fucking karmic retribution already.
fucking hate this.
take initiatives? at what?!
i am not about to hurl myself at the first goddamn guy that starts flirting with me.
fake happy?
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