shit, i have 4 minutes.

apparently they are doing a routine outage of the site in 4 minutes, which is not nearly enough time for me to write a decent entry..

but i'll end up writing for longer than their scheduled 10 minute outage, so i wonder if that'll even be a problem.

last night was my roommate's birthday dinner and bar hopping. now i can safely say that i've been an american bar. a legitimate american bar down in pb. and really, it's not that big of deal anymore. in actuality, it was messy, loud and definitely shady. the novelty of being able to go to a bar now seems like a shallow exploitation. what a downer.

my roommate, whom i've mentioned couple of times now, wasn't wasted as the other apt mate and i had anticipated but was definitely in the mood to rant. funny thing? she was complaining about the SAME thing i've been ranting about for the last, uh, year and a half?
except now i'm the one listening, not yelling across the room.
well, i was ridiculously sober even after like 4 drinks. thanks dad for your frat boy tolerance.
anyways, back to the current matters.
yes, the roommate has had some boy drama in the past couple of days and all of us were pretty much worried about how she'd handle things. granted i didn't think i was in the right position to even give her advices since i haven't been really gotten out of my own rut, and that her situation has been exacerbated by the fact that the guy is a.. what's the word.. *sigh* i shall not say out loud for the sake of pride and all the logistics.. (ah, autosave failed, i need to waste 1o minutes by writing a lengthy entry) anyways, girls are fickle and complicated creatures. at one moment we want nothing to do with the heartbreaker yet when the chance arises we adorn ourselves silly for the sake of momentary lust or even *gasp* a second chance. we play the other side for a mere glance up and down and for self satisfaction, only to come home and feel sorry for playing hard to get and losing the temporary pleasure a simple agreement would've led. despite how much 'one more night' would mean, it cannot guarantee anything at all. you may end up discovering YES! i don't want this anymore and attain closure, or FUCK, i've created a personal hell and go on living in displeasure. it's always going to be a gamble when you're a girl and when physical intimacy plays a bigger role in a relationship whereas guys will forever think with the wrong head at the wrong time.

yes, i know not ALL guys are like this, and that the humanity has not devolved beyond chivalry YET, and perhaps some girls tend to hold their grudges for a ridiculous amount of time.. but knowing will not solve anything.

hell, at least she got an apology and the guy got a karmic kick to the balls recently.

as long as my problem persists... i will continue to ignore it.
and if the words are true, then this rage and grudge will continue to fester into carcinogenic embodiment.

anyways, the connection is back i can upload pretty piktars.

君という名の翼 - kobukuro