there i go again, shunning everyone who's trying to help..

sineazaroth: "it ended 8 months ago, yet everytime you feel pain or remorse or whatever... you breathe new life into it..."

why the hell do you think i'm trying to erase the past year and a half out of my mind right now. i don't want to remember the beginning, the middle, and especially the end... i just don't want to remember... i want to go back to being normal. i don't like being crazy and loud... i don't want to swear... i want to go back to being the person i was when i first came here, pre-EVERYTHING. college was supposed to be a new beginning, not a recurring nightmare...

i don't want to be fucked up...
i don't want... to be fucked up...
i don't...