epiphany??

couldn't fall asleep, at least not yet.

was talking to a friend earlier over AIM and i was hit with an epiphany train while gorogoro-ing on the bed.

two summers ago i was riding on a wave of euphoria and didn't suspect life would give me tons of lemons.

guys apparently can't take bitching over the internet...

i am NOT not saying that's the main point of the realization, but i'm reflecting back on what I did wrong.

i 'm constantly giving shit for his actions, but have i once stood still and think over mine?

well, i did actually.

it's hard to do long distance relationship when you're literally half way around the world. it's hard if you're not talking to him to reassure that you're still there, with him. even at that point, i was still the one who was giving more into this already insipid relationship while he was probably in it for the non-existent physical aspects. i hardly gave thought to his feelings, which led itself to other people.. i should've known better and had braced for impact instead of being in denial and 어리광부려 the whole way through. now it's taken me like what, 2 years? shit..

whatever, it's just something that hit me during my insomniac episodes. it happens.

this post has nothing to with someone you may know. this isn't the blog you're looking for. move along.