post invitationals.

i thought i'd be in shape to type out a nice thought out reflection of invitationals at standford. instead i'm tired cus i spent too long squinting at the screen with expiring eyes and contact lenses.
also the whole taiko laden weekend plus the +18 hours i spent on the road is finally catching up to me.

i'm le tired.

i'll edit this tomorrow.

edit: as promised

i have the tendency to delete entries to suit my mood and pride, but i figured i shouldn't. scott's idea of losing the feeling you had behind each entry didn't stick around me for much, but i still think it's a good foundation.

friday:
it was such a bad day to start the drive seeing how it started pouring around 1 pm when ayano and my group were supposed to leave. also, we were stuck in various places throughout the trip because early traffic and pit stops. after picking up the GPS from aya's dad and having to make a mandatory stop around 5pm so that aya could catch up kinda slowed us down even more, but with the kids in my car and music blasting the trip didn't seem so bad. i took over the driving the entire trip as much as i hated it but i didn't want to pass on the responsibility to rosie and have her getting freaked out in unfamiliar territory. this just meant i'd be driving forever and being freaked out myself when the wind started wailing in pacheco. no one could see it but my knuckles were so white from gripping the steering wheels with my life. bwahaha. getting to stanford took so long that i just wanted to sleep in the car.. besides, i kept running into the very person i didn't want to see from this point and on so blah. met a lot of newbies at the host's, and got a bit of beef with some other groups. BEEF was had and was ignored afterwards.

saturday:
ugh, if one thing i hate most about invitationals in the need to wake up early morning and the prospect of having to sleep on the floor. also, the places we were staying were at the dorm lounges and the idea having to move everything every morning wasn't great. also, as with friday, i started the goddamn day with the sight i need not to see so the rest of the day sucked. my group, ironically TMNT, had ayano and james from asayake, and craig and evelyn who went to my high school. what a coincident! it was fun to bond with them, and meeting new people with tons of talent. the workshops were so fun! i had odaiko workshop with kenny endo sensei. i was so intimidated but he was super nice and corrected my form without any condescending attitude. so despite the fact that the one hour and half of odaiko had left my shoulders and upper arms so sore i was glad it was the first workshop. i even got a picture with kenny endo! how amazing is that? after the workshop was lunch. me and other used this time to try to mingle and had lunch with yukai. i don't know if that really counts since asayake is already friends with yukai and senryu. whatever.. we're were deepening that bond? it's better than just staying shut up like i did the past 2 years. after this was the madness that was concert practice. nothing was in order and i didn't even get to really practice before we went on. it was ok though since i only had narimono and shime. the performance was informal but we did a great job. dinner was with some fun entertainment and indian food.. then we had to attend a lecture by steve sano about the history of taiko. the problem with this was that i had already went over this with alex's class and i started doodling despite mike's objections. it was too short of a lecture and we were let out after about an hour and a half... and that ended the official day. the night started off with going to billiards and laser tagging.. neither of which i took major part with. i ended up smoking way too much and just playing air hockey.. then going to senryu and kazan's shady parking lot party. that was fun.. and more bonding time with senryu. the drive back was so confusing since i was lost out of my mind. the sleep was so delicious even though i was still sleeping on the floor.

sunday:
i woke up with people talking around me asking each other to wake me up.. what the heck? turns out i was the last one to wake up. oops, my bad. i rushed around to get ready and headed out for the last day of invitationals. the breakfast and mingling led to the last workshop which was with san jose! the drill we did was ridiculously tiring (roy's drill) but i had a lot of fun. overall i think i can safely say that i enjoyed all 3 of my workshop for once. lunch was also hachimaki exchange. i'm never good at this that i never find anyone to trade with. however, i did exchange with xueman from yukai and ended getting the braid ones that i've always wanted. so it's winning situation. we had another lecture/discussion panel to go to, and then had some down time before the second concert. my cousin ended up coming to hang out for awhile, and i did the one thing i shouldn't have done by walking out on the performance. well, i had already planned on doing so i guess it wasn't so bad.. i hope.. i just felt kinda guilty after having to go through kelli's anti-elitist talk.. but i wasn't doing it out of lack of interest but out of spite.. ARGH that still doesn't make it right.. whatever! i still support everyone in taiko so.. so.. ok, i'm going to stop making excuses.

speaking of elitists..
ok, i can't go into too much details due to the manner of opinions and all.. i heartily agree on the whole being humble in this business. we didn't have an early start like the first 3 collegiate groups. we are actually one of the youngest groups with an uncertain future, but with the hope of achieving greatness in times to come. we have great camaraderie with each other and with other groups. the bond of friendship is almost close to family with all of us in the group. also with our late start we are mostly humble about our existence. i'm happy that our group is like this because this means we are not being looked at with contempt like some other groups. this makes our group more easily approachable it seems. it would be awesome to watch our group become great in this collegiate world but keeping the same values that we have now. the name asayake should never go down in history with any negativity.

saturday night:
mike's parents were great and so hospitable! they let all of us stay at their place and let us look at mike and cary's baby pictures!! :DDD it was ridiculously cute and fun to see how other people grew up. i almost died in the shower cus i tripped and pulled down the curtain. i hope mike's parents didn't think i was wreaking the place or something.. we played mafia and ate all the wonderful snacks that the hirota's have put out for us. oh man, that 5 layer jello was great.. it's no wonder i felt so food coma'd after one round of mafia cus of this. i ended up dozing off on the floor again before 2am..

sunday:
i woke up to mike's feet almost crunching my glasses. what a way to wake up.. i bolted up right cus i was so freaked out. after scrambling to get ready, we had delicious food that mike's mom had made.. and that two cup of coffee had my diuretics running even before the day had started. after getting michelle and jenna to meet up with us, we started on our journey all loaded with more energy drinks and snacks.. but not before we gave our mob hug to mrs. hirota. that was fun. and as we're about take off.... mike's tire is flat.. bluggh. sucks for the group that was in his car.. but not wanting to waste any more time we headed out to kelli's... and spend more time loitering and getting gas. pulling out of the gas station, my car had to pull a LA style driving cus i'm crazy. thus begins the epic drive back home. most of it wasn't so bad.. except the newbies kept falling in and out of sleep as i drove... and while we were on the 5 i had to go to the bathroom more than enough times.. and the kids were rocking out in the backseat. oh maaaaan.. those videos will never leave me alone. after hitting LA and refueling, the drive back to SD was ridiculously fast paced. all four of our cars, all girls, were burning rubber and trying to out drive each other home.. that was great. i was driving way too fast and so were the other girls, but i think we just wanted to go home.. which was my sentiments. getting on campus loop had never felt to amazing. after pulling up into my apartment all that floaty feeling dissipated and the surreality of invitational transformed into post invitational blues. i will be feeling this for awhile.

and there you have it. my stuff on invitationals. it's a fucking essay; i wasted about 30 minute on this instead of writing my paper. hooray. now i'm going to write about why genetic screening sucks.

i figured it was over once we stopped talking and making eye contacts; there was nothing more unpleasant than those times, and as ridiculous as it is, it still goes on. as stubborn and mean as i was, still i waited for you to turn around and say hello. despite my intentions, i shot arrows with my eyes, and spat poison. i regret everything cus you didn't even turn around and say bye to me when you finally up and left. i guess it's finally over.

i hate you so much.