The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Some of this year's winners:
Cashtration • The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus • A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication • Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Bozone • The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Giraffiti • Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm • The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte • To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Decafalon • The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Dopeler Effect • The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit • The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug • Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
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