outward bound.

going on a 3 nights/4 days tour to china tomorrow. location uncertain due to not seeing the travel itinerary.. but it's ok! it'll be fun!

and cold.

it's kinda hard to enjoy the scenery and the culture when you only have 20 minutes to take pictures and run back to the bus, then being on the road for 1-2 hours at a time. this is why tour groups are so hectic and tiring. despite it all, i'm sure it'll be a good experience.. not to mention picture fest in the next entry.

it was one of my aunt's 환갑, which is simply put 60th birthday celebration. it's one of those events specific to korean culture, i guess. we ended up going to eat sushi (as if i haven't had enough of it yet) and i guess it was ok. my dad's side of the family is NOT the definition of humble; it's weighing heavily on the whole condescending and arrogant side. my dad's the youngest of 5 so it's understandable that he's the quietest of all of them, but sometimes it's hard to be in the same room with my uncles and aunts. also, my cousins are much much older. three of them are married and with babies. i'm a 아줌마! and i'm only 21!! and unmarried!
EW.
i don't even know the names of some of my own cousins and their spouses. sad much? oh well. i never really got to spend all that time with my korean extended family due to the fact that i was in america during my younger days, which is pretty much my excuse for the poor relationship i have with my dad.. and the rest of the korean branch family. it's kinda terrible i think, but in all honesty, i feel like other people don't have that close of a relationship with their extended family anyways. my mother's side is a bit different since.. i don't know, INTERESTING AT MOST, and that we are usually in closer proximity of each other. for goodness sakes, sharon is like my older sister.

well enough of that shenanigan.

one good thing about my dad's side is that they see me as an adult while acknowledging my place in the family as one of the younger ones. well, it only seems that way since they do offer me drinks and such. and as it happens again and again, they ask my status in the dating world. i say i don't have time and that i'm focusing on academics right now but i feel like i'm avoiding much of the scene right now. i mean, where else do you find your possible future spouse if not at college? well, i'm could be wrong, but still. once you get in the work zone, the whole 'you shouldn't date your co-workers' thing arises, and after experiencing the clubbing scenes, i've concluded that i CANNOT do the whole one night stands and random hook ups. nope. can't do it. can't even pick up a guys cus apparently i can't flirt. YEARGH. my inner conflicts of liberal desires and conservative morals are keeping me from getting what i want. seriously, where do i draw the line on what is good vs what i WANT?

for once little lingering thoughts aren't coming easily to mind. much clouded, my mind is.