not unlike a third wheel.

i'm sure by now people have noticed that my pictures have NOTHING to do with my entries. i just find some images tend to make the blog a bit more colorful.. despite the fact that the last 3 pictures have been taken on my desk with my lamp as the light source.. i need more creative settings. either that or i need to get out more and stop taking random pictures of stuff on my desk. well, with this one, i don't like how the subject takes over the entire frame.. but i like the perspective for the time being. i'll replace it later.

and the title today. honestly i didn't really feel like the third wheel when i consented to go shopping with a pair of my friends. towards the end of it, however, when my business was done.. i was just tagging along to see them being eh, what is the word. CUTE. still, i didn't mind it that much. i mean, i'm usually around people who are in a relationship.. and honestly i'm happy for them; i just have a horrible way of showing that. i need to learn to stop thinking so negatively on other people's happiness. then we go the victoria secret.. and i see the cologne that i really.. uh.. like..

GAH

yeah, i know i said it wasn't the reason i was feeling blue towards the end.. but it was the beginning i guess. i don't know.. i should be happy right now- i'm done with finals, and i'm on break now. i have time to sleep in and time to shop. i'll be going to korea on sunday and i'm in company of great people all the time.. but as the time goes on and i'm usually left alone to attend to my errands, and i'm feeling so destructive and distressed.
yuck, how emo is that????

my problem right now is that.. i have all these questions and things i want to just spurt out, but i know i can't bring myself to it; instead i'd rather use other people to get my things across. even still i'm not able to bring myself to do THAT. meaning, i'm just stuck in a rut of self perpetuating frustration. UGH *rips out hair*

tick tock tick tock.
시간이 흘러가지만
난 또 홀로 앉아서
밤을 새고.

담배와 술을
벗으로 삼기며
컴퓨터의 파란불에 젖어
시간 낭비하고.

이런 생각하는 나는
이런 감정을 일으키는 너가
눈을 감을 때마다
떠 오르는게
싫다.