never regret anything that made you smile.

i'm quite sure i've written a bitter entry dealing with the same quote. granted, i was still angry and bitter.. and not to mention cynical.. but now it got me to think..

i was ridiculously sick last night- i was coughing and throwing up half the night. who knows whether it was because i was really sick or that i was stressed out from my computer malfunctioning + school work.. i don't know. well, i was talking to chris about mitch related stuff, which usually has the tendency to get me a bit stressed out.. nevertheless, being that sick and being somewhat alone (roommates don't really want to help out- they're sick as well or just avoiding each other so they don't get sick too) really wasn't great. if it wasn't for bff i'd probably be even worse right now. thank you bff :D in the end, i didn't go to my lab which caused a bit of a problem for me since now i 1) am behind schedule, and 2) missed quiz points. GAH. but i was able to spend the day in bed just being lazy and not as sick...

i always feel awful when someone else besides my family is trying to take care of me. i mean, friends don't need to have that kind of responsibility, right? yet, if someone called me in the middle of the night cus they were puking their guts out, i'd be there in a flash. so why does it bother me when i'm getting helped? blar, i'm still one sided as ever.

something i remember from talking with chris:
i've been trying to push away the memories from freshman year for a certain reason, and i've been pretty much successful in doing so. yet, if i smell a certain scent, see bright colored fish, or be in involved in familiar events, the first thing that happens is the rush of memories. now that i think of it, i don't have that many unpleasant memories from the past.. they were all happy moments. the only thing that was bad was the breakup and on... i mean, yes. it's painful to remember the happy times when it's over, but they stay with me cus they were good memories... i shouldn't try so hard to erase what was good, the things made me smile...


i don't exactly know what i'm rambling about anymore. i guess i'm just being.. sentimental...